FAMILY LIFE
What is a family?
A family: is a social group of people who are related by blood, marriage or adoption. Normally the family starts when a man and a woman get marriage. Some of the reasons for getting married is companionship and to get children.
COURTSHIP AND MARRIAGE
Courtships: is a period where by two peple of opposite sex carefully get to know from each other and prepare for marriage. However is the period where people of opposite sex are in the preparation for marriage. Is also appropriate period for the preparation for wedding.
PRINCIPLES OF STABLE/GOOD COURTSHIP
i. Transparency: The two partners should be openness to each other for each and everything in their life.
ii. Tolerance: All two partners should be partients towards each other about life difficults and individual weaknesses.
iii. Trust: The two partners should be trusted to each other, this will help to stablelize love to them. Everyone he/she supposed to believe that someone is faithful towards their love.
iv. Proper decision making: There should be proper decision making on courtship life so as to avoid mistakes. Do not make decision while someone is in bad mood.
v. Good behaviour among the partners: There should be two partners to behave in a good maner towards each other and around the community at large. The two partners need to show intensive respect to each other and not otherwise.
vi. Positive relations among the two partners: The two partners are supposed to avoid all unnecessary issues or practices which resulting in to conflict among them.
vii. Proper choice: Before entering in to relation with someone, there should be proper choice this will help to get partners who will relate or suit to your life, hence will bring good courtship.
viii. Avoid unnecessary jealous: This helps to have stable courtship because it avoid improper decision making among the two partners.
PROBLEMS FACING PARTINERS DURING COURTSHIP
i. Poverty: Poverty can prolong a courtship and cause people to separate even before marriage. Some partners tend to runaway their partners because of their low life status. Some girls wishes to be married by rich people because of desire of good life. But also some men do not much prefers to marry women from the poor families because of fear to be much depended from the wife families. However this situation is there but is not always because there is individual choice.
ii. Family conflicts: The conflicts among the parents of partners can cause courtship breakdown.
iii. Tribalism: Some people do not allow their children to marry from other tribes hence this bring difficult on courtship.
iv. Lack of tolerance among the partners: Most partners fail to have stable courtship because of lack of tolerance towards each other on different issues. Some people fail to understand about individual weaknesses which resulting on to improper decision making like betrayal.
v. Improper behavior: Lack of respect among the partners towards the society can led to breakdown of courtship, this include things like prostitution, the use of abusive languages.
v. Poor communication: lack of regular and proper communication among the partners can couse courtship breakdown. Moreover lack of using polite language on communication among the two partners resulting in to conflict to the partners and breakdown of courtship.
vi. Improper choice: The wrong choice will cause someone to choose incorrect partner hence this can led to the breakdown of courtship and even before marriage.
vii. Over jealous: This contribute to improper decision making among the two partners which result in to breakdown of courtship. Most partners fail in this situation, hence to have self control.
IMPORTANCE OF COURTSHIP
1. It helps to develop self-discipline towards the two partners: Without self discipline an individual may be disqualified by the family.
2. It helps two partners to know from each other: because it gives the two partners an opportunity to know each others feelings, altitudes, expectation and other aspect of life before marriage. This helps to avoid unnecessary conflict during the future.
3. It provides chance to Prepare for marriage: Marriage requires a lot of things to be done in advance, involves the couples relatives neighbors and friends.
4. It helps to measure the degree of maturity: People who intend to get marriage must be matured enough for taking care of the family they intend to start.
5. It provides chance for acquire property: Courtship gives a couple times to acquire some basic requirements for life such as a house and furniture.
6. It helps two partners to adjust their behaviour: It helps people to change their behaviours from childhood behaviour to adulthood behaviors.
7. It promotes cooperation among the family members: courtship helps two partners to cooperate together on different issues like on problem solving.
NB: However not all communities practice courtship especially Muslims do not permit it.
RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN COURTSHIP AND MARRIAGE
Courtship and marriage are closely related to each other. This relation can be seen in the areas such as:-
1. Courtship is the foundation of a good marriage.
2. Courtship allows people to learn from each other before marriage.
3. The stable marriage is determined by the period of courtship.
4. A good marriage needs a blessing or parents, relative and neighbors.
MARRIAGES
Marriage: is the legal union between two people of opposite sex (a man and a woman) as husband and wife. Marriage in some people is the legal union between a man and women, accompanied by a wedding ceremony. Therefore marriages tend to be differ from one societies to another.
FORMS OF MARRIAGES
1. Monogamy: is the tendency of having only one wife. Example Christians.
2. Polygamy: is the tendency of having many wives. Especially Muslims.
3. Bigamy: is the act of entering into a marriage with one person while still legally married to another person.
4. Polyandry: is the form polygamy whereby a wife have many husbands.
5. Traditional marriages: is marriages which are practiced by different communities and they usually differ from one community to another. In Africa these types of marriages are common especially during the traditional dances.
6. Religious marriage: are those marriages which are conducted under the supervision of religious institutions like church or mosque. Normally religious marriages include Islamic and Christianity marriages.
TYPES OF MARRIAGES
1. Matured marriages: are the marriages which are conducted at the acceptable legal age . according to the constitution of united republic of Tanzania the acceptable age for matured marriages is 18 year age and above.
2. Forced marriages: are the marriages conducted by force of relatives or parents. Forced marriages occurs when a girl or woman forced to be married by a man who she don not want. These marriages are very common in African societies.
3. Premature marriages: are those marriages which are conducted under the legal accepted age for matured marriage. Usually in Tanzania early marriages are recognized under the age of 18 year.
EARLY OR PRE-MATURE MARRIAGE
Early marriages: are those marriages which are conducted under the legal accepted age of the country. Usually in Tanzania early marriages are recognized under the age of 18 year.
CUSTOMS AND TRADITIONS WHICH ENCOURAGE EARLY AND FORCED MARRIAGES
1. Payment of bride price (Dowry): Is the payments made to the parents of a girl or woman to be marriad by the man family. Normally some communities tend to force ther children to get early marriages due to the desire to get wealth.
2. Gender discrimination in education: Is where a boy is given priority over a girl in terms of education. some parents have the wrong belief that educating a girl is west of time and money. This encourages early marriage because girls are forced to dropout of school in favor of their brothers.
3. Traditional initiations: Traditional practices such as initiation ceremonies prepare a girl for arrange. This is encourage early marriage because agirls is considered woman who is ready to start her own family.
4. Property inheritances: Some communities do not allow a boy to inherit property if is not married. This encourages some boys to enter in to marriages as a qualification to inherit y property.
5. Lack of education: Some parents marry off their young daughters due to ignorance.
6. Poverty: some parents tend to marry off their young girls early due to poverty.
7. Improper behaviour: some young girls and boys tend to be forced by their parents to getting early marriage because of their improper behaviour like prostitution.
PROBLEMS ASSOCIATED WITH EARLY AND FORCED MARRIAGES
1. Complication during delivery: Early marriages cause maternal and infant death in the society. This is because reproductive organs of the young girl are not enough to support matured to a pregnancy deliver safe. The complication arising during pregnancy and labour most of them enter to death or permanent damage to the girl’s body.
2. Increase in illiteracy to young girls: some communities, young girls are forcefully removed from school to be married off. This interfere with their education and future plans.
3. Increase in poverty: Most couples that get married at a young age do not have reliable means of getting income it becomes difficult for them to take care of their children.
4. Spread of HIV and AIDS: Very young men and women may not be able to make correct decision on mental matters.They are at a high risk of being infected with asexually transmitted disease include HIV/AIDS.
5. Breakdown of families: Very young men and women may lack enough experience, knowledge and tolerance as far a family problems are concerned. They may not knowhow to settle their differences and sometimes minor problems lead to separation and divorces.
6. Increase in street children: due to family separation, famine and hunger.
PREVENTION OF EARLY AND FORCED MARRIAGES
1. Provision of education: The society should be educated on the dangers of early marriage.
2. Eradication of bad cultural practices: Cultural practices-societies should abandon on negative social cultural practices such as female circumcision and gender discrimination.
3. Enacting strictly laws: the government should enact strict laws against early marriages and enforce the existing one to discourage parents from forcing their children to get married at early age.
4. To ensure poverty alleviation: Poverty alleviation strategies should be strengthened. This will help preventing the economic hard ship which force poor parents to marry off their young girl in order to get bride prices or wealth.
5. Religious teaching should adjust their conditions for getting marriages for both young girls and boys.
FOUNDATION OF ASTABLE MARRIAGE
A stable marriage: Is the marriage which formed when the couples are supported by love and respect towards each other.
COMPONENTS/ASPECTS OF STABLE MAREIAGES
1. Negotiation: The two patners should also agree on what they expect to achieve in the marriage. Couples they do not supposed to compete on different issues that may arise conflict among them.
2. True love: The partners must have affection to each other.
3. Trust: The couple must be trusted to each other. The two partners should be trusted to each other, this will help to stablelize love to them. Everyone he/she supposed to believe that someone is faithful towards their love.
4. Tolerance and understanding: Each partner should exercise to tolerance towards, the weakness of the other. It may not always be possible for one to fully agree with the action s of other person. All two partners should be patients towards each other about life difficult and individual weaknesses.
5. Transparency: The two partners should be openness to each other for each and everything in their life. It is wrong to keep secrets which may danger the marriage.
6. Proper decision making: There should be proper decision making among the couples life so as to avoid mistakes. Do not make decision while someone is in bad mood.
7. Good behavior among the couples: The two partners should behave in a good manner towards each other and around the community at large. The two partners need to show intensive respect to each other and not otherwise.
8. Positive relations among the two partners: The two partners are supposed to avoid all unnecessary issues or practices which resulting in to conflict among them.
9. Proper choice of partner: Before entering in to marriage with someone, there should be proper choice, this will help to get partners who will relate or suit to your life, hence will bring stable marriage.
10. Avoid unnecessary jealous: This helps to have stable marriage because it avoid improper decision making among the two parters.
PROBLEMS FACING PARTINERS IN MARRIAGE
1. Poverty: Poverty can cause shortage of basic need among the partners and exlose them to a wrong decision, hence family instability.
2. Severe conflicts: The frequently family conflicts among the partners can cause marriage breakdown.
3. Tribalism: Because of tribalism can violate the true love among the couples which can led to marriage breakdown.
5. Lack of tolerance among the partners: Most partners fail to have stable marriage because of lack of tolerance towards each other on different issues. Some people fail to understand about individual weaknesses which resulting on to improper decision making like betrayal.
6. Improper behaviour: Lack o respect among the partners towards the society can led to breakdown of marriage, this include things like prostitution, the use of abusive languages.
7. Poor communication: lack of regular and proper communication among the couples can couse breakdown of marriage or destroy the stable marriage.
8. Improper choice: The wrong choice will cause someone to choose incorrect partner hence this can led to the breakdown of most marriage.
9. Over jealous: This contribute to improper decision making among the two partners which result in to breakdown of marriage.
TYPES OF FAMILIES
There are three common types of families these are:-
1. Nuclear family: This is family which consists of a father, mother and children.
2. Extended family: This is family which consists of a father, mother, children, grandparents, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, cousin and other relatives.
3. Singles parent family: Is the family headed by one parent who can be either mother or father. Normally single parent families may result from the death of one partner, divorce or getting children before one married.
IMPORTANCE OF FAMILY
A family plays an important role in the community. The reasons why the family is important include:-
1. To foster cooperation in the society: The bring up children who will be honest, trust worthy and responsible people in the society.
2. Families promote the development: To both individual family members and national wide.
3. Good families act as role models: in the society, children and youth therefore have role models they can copy.
4. It encourages hard working in the society: Families provide the children with opportunities to be hard workers.
5. Children are taught customs of their society.
6. It promotes respect in the societies.
7. It encourage availability of labourers who could work on different sectors.
8. It promotes unity and solidarity towards the family members.
FAMILY STABILITY
A stable family: is the family which formed formed by peace, respect, love and good behaviour.
CCOMPONENTS/FACTORS INFLUENCING STABLE FAMILY
The following factors contribute to family stability:-
1. Respect: This is situation in which members of the family exhibit respect towards each other.The children respect their parent's and other people.
2. Love: This enable family member to help each other.
3. Good behaviour: A family should live in peace and avoid any elements of improper behaviour which will led to weakening the stable family.
4. Peace: There should be available of enough peace in the family.
5. Unity and cooperation: The family members should unite together and cooperate in different aspects.
6. Responsiveness: All family members should be accountable to their responsibilities towards the development of stable family. Normally both mother, father (parents) and children should fulfill their responsibilities in the family.
IMPORTANCE OF FAMILY STABILITY
The following are some of the way in which family stability in important.
1. It helps promotes respect to the family members: Family stability encourage respect to the society.
2. It enhance community participation: Family members are able to participate in communal activities such as cleaning up market and planting trees.
3. It encourage peace in the country: normally peace in country begging at the lowest level.
4. It promotes good behaviour: Family stability help members to enjoy in positive habits and activities and reduce the incidences of drug abuse or crime.
5. It encourage hard working society: Children from stable families are likely to start their own families in future thereby ensuring the continuity of the family as unit.
6. It provides labour supply: Normally the stable family will provide good labour supply towards the family and national development.
RIGHTS AND RESPONSIBILITIES OF FAMILY MEMBERS
Rights: are the things one is allowed to do or that one is entitled to have. In the family as a unity parent have their rights and children also have their right.
Rights of parents in the family some of the right that parents use:-
1. Making family decision.
2. Guiding and advising their children.
3. Being respected by their children.
4. Teaching their children community values.
5. Treating all children equally.
Rights of children in the family
1. Expressing their opinion.
2. Being treated equally without any kind of discrimination.
3. Being registered after birth and being given name.
4. Living with their parents.
5. Rest and leisure.
6. Getting basic and secondary need like food, education and healthcare.
7. To be protected from injury, abuse and economic exploitation.
RESPONSIBILITIES
Responsibilities:Thesearedutiesthatapersonisobligedsomeparentalresponsibilit iesare:-
Responsibilities of Parents in the family
1. Making family decision.
2. Providing security for the family.
3. Ensuring discipline is maintained by the children.
4. Providing family requirement such as a food, clothes, shelter and education.
5. Taking charge of the day today activities of the family.
6. Loving and taking care of the children.
7. Arranging and organizing family activities such as cleanliness and preparation of meal.
8. Counseling their children to be well behaved.
Responsibilities of children in the family
1. Helping with domestic tasks.
2. Respecting parents and elders.
3. Taking care of their young brother or sister.
4. Obeying their parents and teachers.
5. Going to school to learn.
IMPACTS/CONSEQUENCES OF FAILURE OF PARENTS TO FULFILL THE FAMILY RESPONSIBILITIES
1. It led to family instability: Children can acquire bad habits and create trouble in the family and in the society.
2. Increase in family conflicts: Frequent misunderstanding may arise between members of the family.
3. Family breakdown: A family may breakdown if there are frequent misunderstanding quarrels.
4. Increase in street children: In the absence of peace and provision of family requirements children will not stay at home. They will end in the street.
5. It may led to lack of basic needs: If parents do not work hard, children cannot get their basic need as sell a other needs.
6. Increase in poverty: the irresponsible parents accurate the rate of poverty in the family.
7. Increase in moral decay: Normally the failure of parents to fulfill their familiy responsibilities resulted in to moral decay to the whole family members especially children. This include improper dressing, prostitution, the use of abusive languages, poor repect to each other and other elements of moral erosion.
8. Increase in illiteracy to the children: The illiteracy will increase because parwnts they do not care about the importance of educating their children, hence because of poor parents supervision children may fail to have good school attendancy which resulting in to poor performance hence increase in illiteracy.
9. Spread of diseases: When the parents are not responsible for the responsibilities it can led to spread of diseases to family members like HIV/AIDS due to improper behaviour like prostitution to both parents and children.
GUIDING QUESTIONS
1. Outline five pillars of stable courtship.
2. outline five consequences of early marriages.
3. Explain five causes of early marriages to Tanzanian societies.
4. Briefly explain six problems facing partners during courtship.
5. Outline five ways to combat early marriages.
6. Briefly explain six problems facing stable marriage.
7. Explain six challenges limiting the foundation of stable marriage.
8. Outline five causes of marriage instability.
9. Briefly explain five determinants of stable family.
10. Point out five attributes of stable family.
